Going back, never something I thought I would dread. Dread is quite a harsh word isn’t it, but, it seems the only appropriate word to use to describe the feeling.
So let’s rewind to July 2016, I’m a heavily pregnant boss lady, career driven and uber tenacious. I cried and cried at the thought of leaving work behind, I sobbed my entire way through my last day. I just didn’t know what I would do without my job, no actually my CAREER.
Little did I know that Nandy would arrive and completely flip that on its head. I remember saying to friends that I might use maternity leave as a time to do a bit of work on the side or some new activities, they laughed at me. Now I know why!
Maternity leave – having a baby – it’s all consuming. It takes up every minute every sanctum of your being – but I love it.
That first baby group I ever attended – I felt like an idiot, fast forward 38 weeks and I’m singing along to the sensory songs knowing all the words – my new career actually rocks. My career as a mum is awesome!
I get to see him grow and develop and achieve new things, I get to see his face everyday smile at me and I can smile back!. Going back to work means losing out on these moments. Going back to work means having no more baby groups and singing along to songs. Now I have to go back to that career and be all uber serious and pretend I care about the goings on in the office. When truth be told I think all I will care about it what Nandy is doing with the childminder.
Someone else bringing up my baby. That’s my job isn’t it? But I can’t do this forever. All my savings are gone – maternity pay was limited and I have to give him the best start in life and that means having to leave him with people who are qualified to care for him and develop him so I can earn money to pay for his clothes, home and lifestyle. I need to remind myself of that when I’m sat at work feeling sad.
People have said to me that I will love being back at work, that it’s a time to drink hot tea and actually have adult conversation, however, I’m not so sure.
Countdown minus less than 3 days til D day and I’m clinging on to every last day with my fingernails.
I read the blog post from Brummymummyof2 on 6 ways to prepare to return to work after having a baby and could successfully tick all the boxes. My childcare is nailed, I have a plan, I have all my KIT days planned out, hell I’ve even gone through all my emails and made a head start!
I would love to hear your return to work stories and how you felt about going back!